What I love most about you, is your smile.
The way your eyebrows point upwards,
your mouth ovals and one side twitches upwards..
Your eyes crinkle, and it's real.
I miss everything about you.
Sometimes, you turn into my worst fear.
The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference.
One feel, one experience of it can completely destroy me.
You have no idea.
I jump at every chance to make it right.
It hurts when you try and they just, keep quiet.
Be different. Look elsewhere. For I don't know what reason..
I was pretty sure you were hiding sth.
But maybe it really was tiredness.
You used to want to lie on me when you were sleepy.
Would hug me on the escalator and take a 'quick nap'
would rub your face. And SMILE about it, joke..
It sucks when I see you smiling, laughing with your friends but
then you're like this with me.
Okay it was one tired evening only I know,
but you were really cold to me..
And if I did anything wrong you're supposed to tell me..
I felt so, dismissed. So troublesome. And desperate..
Trying to get your attention.. But it was icyness...
Since when did you ignore my final short texts?
And everything's supposed to be all okay the next day?
I mean, I myself want it to be okay straightaway..
I would jump at any opportunity to make it better.
But don't I at least deserve some form of, assurance or
explanation for the hurt I felt from you being so cold?
Let's say you were me.. And sudden icyness took over..
The goodbye was halfhearted, the call was unwanted
the texts were one sided and indifferent..
What happened?
Don't get me wrong i'm really happy today was okay (:
but I couldn't talk to you face to face abt it..
So the only way is to put it here and let you see when you were free..
Things are supposed to be settled.
Not glossed over and suddenly, everything's okay,
yea for you maybe. But I felt so horrible ytd..
Wondering what I did wrong
what made you so cold.
But most of all?
I missed that smile of yours.
It always makes me feel a hundred times better when I see you.
When you laugh when you see me,
when you laugh at me or just have a funny face..
I feel so at ease.. Secured and confident.
But occasionally
there're times when you lose it.
When you're angry, sad. Hiding somethng..
It's not real. It makes me even more afraid.
And I feel so lousy and hurt and scared.
Okay mayb you're just tired.
And decide to act differently I wouldn't know..
But I would appreciate it if you talked to me
like how you would want me to talk to you..
Like how I always talk to you..
And I love talking to you..
Please don't stop that beautiful natural smile.
Please don't be so cold toward me, it's painful.
If you're hiding sth.. Tell me?
If you're really just tired.. There's really no need to behave
so indifferent and let me feel like this.
Like how you'd feel if I treated you this way.
BUT I'm really glad we're okay now (:
so this is really just to let you know..
Come backkk!
I miss every part of you
))):
