oh man.
just a few more weeks left.
somehow, i feel kind of lost.. like im looking forward to the end,
at the same time, its a new beginning.
i have to adapt. i have to learn, to accept, to trust.
what if, things happen?

i guess im afraid of the future.
im scared of what will happen..
its so hard to accept certain realities..
its so hard to get used to a new, drastic change.

nothing about this is going to be gradual.
its going to be quick, cut-off, and painful.

trying desperately to hang on to every single moment now.
its the last 'alot-of-things'
i guess sometimes it's easier to hang on to familiarity.
its easier to believe what im used to, to accept and trust,
but with change, there're doubts, there's fear.

scared.
dont want to lose you or anything or memories and moments.

scared.
how am i to mend you, to make you feel okay.
please try to be a little more understanding, trusting, and less paranoid.
i care. alot..

scared.
of my future.. of? i dont know.

afraid of the world and its people.
maybe thats why love gives us hope.
gives us courage to just live day by day, even if the worst happens.
we'll make thru it with support and.. love.

i love you.
im afraid of my doubts and paranoid thought, and possible mistrusts..

i love you.
it hurts me to see you cry.
but i really do care for you m.
please try to be more understanding, less paranoid and a little more trusting?
olease.

im so afraid and pressured and dejected.
and sleepy too. hahaha..
good night world (;

RAINED @ 12:30 AM