Bee?
i hate our misunderstandings
i hate our arguments.
i hate it when you get so angry
- that you forget how to listen/understand/say awful things back
do you know it hurts so badly to hear you say sth back
especially when i dont mean it.
if i let you LISTEN to how i meant it, you would understand.
'im used to it' - it was meant to mean i was sad, i wasnt angry/sarcastc.
in fact, i was happy! abt your econs! and i even included smiley faces.
you said 'you were used' to my actions alot of times.
and i took it as 'you were used to it'! i dint get angry.
so when i say 'im used to it' - i meant it too! like you!
it wasnt an ''accidental sarcasm (:''... ):
if you'd listen to what i said about the 'first aid kit, helping you' and stuff
you'd realise that i was so glad you were okay(aft the orange juice),
then i hurry wanted to be okay too
so i quickly joked about it and hoped you'd reply a Haha or sth?
but instead you scared me by assuming the worst - that i was being sarcastic.
please know that :
i will never ever ever leave you. especially when i know you're hurting.
i would never dare to be sarcastic again, esp after what happened.
and i will never want to create trouble, esp Straight aft you were okay.
you've known me for so long!
its so frustrating to try and explain to you, and you wouldnt listen
you hung up on me
reply in curt/hurtful ways
even though i was trying my best.
to be understanding - cos i knew you were tired, really.
to joke and make things okay
to not repeat what i did.
to cheer you on
i imagined us cheering other people,
laughing about the other runners,
chilling tgt after our events.
i tried to talk to you before i ran.
but you were too tired to talk and kinda breathless.
thanks for giving me the drinks aft we ran.
but i was too breathless and wobbly to talk.
i wished i talked to you more and asked about you as your gf.
but i did keep looking at the bball court to see if you were having your brk
and the moment i saw you walking away i straightaway went to look for you
never did i imagine this.
it tears me apart, i cannot stop crying because it so heartbreaking
to see you think of me this way,
to assume the worse, and to say it back to me.
you said i can really make you angry.
it's the last thing i want to do.
you said you're probably going to be one of them soon
i assure you, you're NOT.
when are we going to stop these HUGE MISUNDERSTANDINGS?
these quarrels and arguments?
on my part, i'll try to be more direct,
when im sad, i'll say im sad, and not something else.
i'll try to really be there for you and be a better girlfriend,
and like, give you water and ask when i suspect got sth wrong.
and all i'm asking is for you to listen even when you're angry
because i might have an explanation.
and not assume the worse of me.
im sorry for always making you angry
i want us to be happy.
it always seems to be my fault all the time.
):
even when i try. it backfires and ends up back to me again.
how can i be horrible to you when i love you so much?
and you can bear to say so many angry words back..?
dyou know everytime you're angry and theres this tension and coldness between us?
i feel so lifeless and limp
like i have no more purpose in life
and i just feel like dying, and i cannot stop crying.
and it feels so horrible.
and this time's the worst because i dint mean it the way you thought it was.
i swear no more sarcasm or anymore similar sarcastic sentences frm me.
pwomish. (:
just believe me and trust me okay.
i wont do anything hurtful :(
or anything to break us apart.
dont think of giving up on us so soon :(
it hurts to see your status too.
i have to hurry close facebook cos it looks like you're expecting to fall apart frm me. :(
and i dont want that ever.
Bee? i love you okay?
really.
