seeing is one of the hardest things to do in life.
look at things one way and it's too narrowminded.
look at things the other, you're just being indifferent and uncaring.
look somemore and you're thinking waaay too much.

dont look,
then we cannot see the good things in life.



sometimes i look too straight.
and the path is always a one-way road.
leading forward, and leading to me. me me me me.
it's a little self centered and selfish, but it's the easiest way to see.

then i look at things from other points on the straight route.
and i see curves and trees, flowers and rocks, crossroads and walls.
obstacles. and choices.
then i get confused and annoyed because, why cant i just have MY straight road.

see, annoyance can very easily become anger.
it's scary because i lose control of myself and when i 'look'
too deep into things, i 'see' false thoughts in my head, and only make myself angrier.

it's a monster that takes over my rationale and self-control.
i really don't like to be angry.
i really don't like to look into things too deep either.
i don't like choices - what if i make something you don't like?
i should just really stop looking, and stop seeing things that don't happen
but wouldn't i come across as, being care-less and distant.

i cannot. because i bother and fuss about you too much
like a mother over her only baby.

so. i become confused.
because i don't know what to do.
i don't want to do anything, but my eye sees everything my brain wants to do.

thoughts become annoyance which becomes anger.
then i take another deep breath.

and i look again and i see little things like,
your smile and your face.
i see your voice in my head and scenes of us replaying in the background.

then.
i don't do anything.
but i know my mind has powers when i stare at the phone(((:

LALALA - confused? yea me too. :D

RAINED @ 12:19 AM