today, i imagined life without you.
Then i realised what my friend once told me,
that she couldnt breathe because her heart was so broken,
was actually true.

But then again.. Why are we always the more dependant one.
I wna be individualistic. Independent.
Then i dont have to feel like this.
Like im so reduced.
So crushed, so crumpled.
Like, im nothing.
Like i want it more.

I want to be.. More indifferent, or numb?

I need a real smile.
And a mirror to smile back at myself.

I wna see all the colours in life,
the past where laughter comes freeflow.
Stiches and jaw cramps were daily necessities
be free of worries and sadness.

But THEY just keep coming, in packs, bunches, swarms!
Anger. Jealousy. Despair.
Sadness. Loneliness.
Cooped up in a world of emotions only i can feel.

Can i invite someone in to share my world then?
Or you can ring my doorbell to come in.
All are welcome (:

RAINED @ 7:58 PM